Happy International Women's Day gorgeous ladies!

For this occasion, I dedicate this blog post to Saudi women and discuss their BIGGEST issue. A lot would think it's driving, but it's not. It's bigger than that. It is the male guardian's (AKA Mehram/ محرم/MG) permission. The male guardian is typically the father, the husband, the uncle, the brother and it could even be the son if the above are deceased. If you have a normal understanding MG then your life will be normal, but if you have an uptight MG. Then good luck!

Things Saudi women cannot do without a permission:

*Education

To enrol in school or university, your MG must sign a paper approving.

*Scholarships

You can't even get a scholarship abroad without a permission. Your papers won't even get through if you don't have an MG's signature. It doesn't matter if you were the top of your class. No MG no scholarship.

*Employment

A woman can't get a job in Saudi unless her MG signs an approval letter saying he allows her to work. Before I started working as teaching staff in a university in Saudi, my father had to sign a form allowing me to do it. Of course he was glad for me, but not all MGs are normal. There are a lot of cases when Saudi women were not allowed to work by their husbands because they had the MG's power. For example, my cousin graduated from a university with a medical degree. Medical fields in Saudi are mixed in nature. Her husband didn't let her work. It took her few YEARS to convince him! The new thing now is to add this as a premarital condition to the Islamic marriage contract (Nikkah)!

*Surgeries

Believe it or not. If you are in a governmental hospital, you won't get a surgery unless your MG agrees!

*Marriage

The MG's permission is essential for marriage. Without one a virgin girl (it's ok if she's widowed or divorced) can't get married even if the guy is amazing!

The Saudi Women Revolution Statement

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*Official papers (ID, passport & etc)

When I wanted to get my first ID, I was over 20 and the first thing dad asked why do you even need one? It was really frustrating explaining myself just to get an ID! Of course, I couldn't just go to the IDs place and get one. That would be too normal and regular for Saudi. I had to go there with my dad, where I went to the females sections and he went to the males section. Dad had to sign papers for me and wait for hours! It's the same with all official papers. Including bank accounts, passports and all other official papers. A woman just can't go to the governmental office to get her stuff done. She needs to wait on her MG.

*Booking a hotel room

When my mom was travelling for a conference in another city in Saudi, she had to get a paper signed from her dad and then taken to our city's mayor to be able to book a room! I think this law has changed now. Although, recently my friend couldn't book a joint room with her brother because they didn't have their dad's family card that listed all the children on it. Keep in mind this lady is over 30 years old and they have the same father's name and last name!

*Travel

For me this one is the worst of them all! I have been living abroad on and off for the past seven years now *mashAllah*, but every single time I go back to Saudi, I have to go beg my dad for a permission before every trip. It used to be a piece of paper, but now with the technology the MG has to sign in and do it electronically. Sometimes the system doesn't work! I was stuck for few hours on Bahrain causeway for my permission to clear! Dad is usually fine when I am travelling for educational purposes, but he doesn't believe in travelling on your own for fun. It is always a battle to convince him. I wanted to go to Dubai to visit my cousin who studies there and he wouldn't give me a permission. Obviously, I couldn't go. As you can see I am still guttered about it. Thankfully, he gave me a permission for my masters. I know some family relatives (and other countless girls in Saudi) who can't even get a permission to go to the capital city to study!

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These things are the biggest obstacles for women in Saudi. I know not being able to drive is annoying, but these things are more important. Without the MG's permission a woman is like a captive. She can't really do anything for herself or for her kids. To be honest, this is the reason that holds me back from going back to Saudi.

MG & Islam

The sad part is that the religion of Islam have not imposed these MG rules. Sayedah (Mrs.) Khadijah, the prophet's wife, was a business woman who was in charge of lots of money and male employees. She was the one who even proposed to the prophet! The prophet never told her to stop working or degraded her. He used to work for her. Read more about her as MIIM Designs firm has highlighted her and wrote an article about her for this occasion. Islam values women and gives them some really good rights. It also promotes respect for them. The problem in Saudi is it follows tribal old cultural traditions.

What can we do?

As women now, we can do few things. We can raise awareness and support other women in their growth

Muna Abusulayman has really good ideas on taking a personal responsibility in her article.

If you are interested in reading more about Saudi women rights and Middle Eastern women rights and the changes currently happening, please read the collection of short articles on

MENA Women: Opportunities and Obstacles in 2014

Note: This post does not intend on hurting anyone's feelings or to shine negative light on the Saudi society. It is just an eye opener of the current situation. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions.

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Feel free to comment and share your personal stories related to the subject.

More posts from Saudi:

Today is the 26th of October, known as the Saudi women driving campaign say. Some women actually took the action and drove today, and some started two years ago like the the first woman who took the driving initiative seriously, Manal Al Shareef. Women driving in Saudi has been one of the most controversial issues recently. If you want to start a fiery conversation, just mention women driving. In my own family this topic is the start of many fights. Some strongly agree with it, and others can't stand the thoughts of it.

First, watch this video by the lady who started it all. Followed by a story of my own struggle. Then read on for the most common pros and cons people discuss.

Isn't it just inspiring? It actually brought tears to my eyes!

We all agree that driving is important because without it we won't be able to go anywhere. Especially in Saudi since we don't have a public transportation system. Local shops that are walking distance are dominated by men, and suitable shops for women are all miles away and are mainly located by a highway, which makes it even more impossible to go there on foot. Not all families have a willing male guardians who want to take them out. By going out, I don't only mean going shopping, but going to work, school, visiting family and other important things.

With more Saudi women working, the need for drivers is increasing! There are many working class families struggling with this issue. Let me tell you quickly about

my own struggle

with this issue.

After I graduated, I started working in a local university *mashallah*. Even though, the university is local to me, but its about an hour drive. My family has a driver (who gets 2000 SR a month excluding the car, the gas, his housing, car care, and everything else), but he drivers my aunt to her job, which has the same start as my job. So, I had to find another private driver. Finding him was a huge issue, and private drivers in Saudi take total advantage of the women's needs because they know their choices are very limited. So, he charged me 2000 SR (330 GBP) for a month five days a week. My mother also works, and she pays about 1000 SR for her driver. As three working females, we spend a minimum of 5000 SR (825 GBP) and thats without considering other charges for going to other places, gas or car maintenance.

Not to mention the million issues these drivers bring to our lives, and the fear women suffer from the whole driver. What if this driver stops in the middle of the desert and assault the poor woman in the back of the car? He is a stranger after all.

Real Story:

My mom's coworker's driver got a better offer and he decided to leave her. One morning, after he dropped her to university he texted her saying he is no longer interested in working for her and told her to pick up the keys from the outside guard. When she went outside, she received the keys, but the car was GONE! Who would want to deal with this? If only she could drive herself.

Exception to the general ban of driving:

There are some establishment within Saudi that allow women to driver, such as Saudi Aramco campus, which started half a century ago. Recently, the King Abdullah University city allowed women to drive as well.

Here are some of the Pros and Cons people discuss when they talk about women driving:

Pros:

Driving will give women more freedom, and make them less dependant of their male guardian.
Having less foreign drivers who charge so much
Making the car journey safer instead of being under the mercy of a strange man.
A women will be able to get to work and other places without begging all the males of her family to take her to one place (even her own sons).
In case of an emrgancy, or the need to go to the hospital, a woman should be prepared to take action. What if her male guardian got injured, and she can't find another driver?
It's a human right. The right of mobility.

Cons:

Driving will give women more freedom, and make them less dependant of their male guardian.
Some Saudi men are not respectful towards women, and some will go out of their way when they see a women driving to harass her intentionally. Especially, teenagers and uneducated, close minded men.
Saudi men and men who drive in Saudi -generally- don't follow any rules and they just drive not caring about any one on the road. There are all sorts of violations on the street and women might not be ready for that.
The Saudi roads are so messed up and they are not fit for more people to drive.

Speaking of the Cons, here is a comical song that shows the perspective of some men who are against women driving:

Other Important Issues in Saudi:

Driving is certainly not the only problem that people should focus on. There are issues of housing, starting a business, medical care, education, women employment and the laws of women travelling outside of Saudi. Like any country, Saudi has room to develop and improve. The good and the bad is present everywhere, and there is not a perfect country out there. Each one has issues that its dealing with.

Feel free to share your struggles/thoughts in the comments bellow and please remember to be respectful and kind to each other.

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